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Post by DarkSpectre on Jan 13, 2018 0:48:42 GMT
@blindasabitch
Hey, guys!! Eagle Eye here. I got one of them Tweeter thingies. Because EVERYONE should know what your next Bum Fight Champion is up to.
Okay, how do you turn off the mic? No, I say... What? Endor... Send who? Oh, se...
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Post by DarkSpectre on Jan 13, 2018 0:55:12 GMT
@blindasabitch
Well, I wasn't done. Asshole. How does one make a hashbrown? Yeah, a hashbrown. Like, when they make a phrase that goes trippy? Trippy. Trippy, like... Trending? Whatever the hell that is. #YeahThatThing. How do I do that. Oh, I just say #
Okay, cool.
#CardboardCrown
How does that look? What? You stop talking. You shut the fuck up. I'm...
The mic is still on? Everything? So if I just said snicker sandwich peter doodle monkey balls and baby boppers... It got ALL of that? Damn. Okay, so... Oh, you're just gonna hit the butto...
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Post by DarkSpectre on Jan 13, 2018 2:07:07 GMT
@blindasabitch Guys!! I got dinner! I'm gonna post a pic, because I know how you guys want to see how a future champ eats... How do I post... Button? I'm blind, Boris. I know your name isn't Boris. You aren't fucking Russian. Are you Russian? I can't tell by looking at you. Get it? Cuz I'm blind! Ha! What? Mic is still... Oh, yeah. Okay, well, why don't YOU add the picture then? It's the last one I took. Right there, dude. Look at my... What? What is wrong with... Just post the fucking picture. Damn.
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Post by DarkSpectre on Jan 13, 2018 22:41:55 GMT
@blindasabitch
Guys. I woke up this morning and I didn't see the sun.
Ha. That's a blind joke.
Fuck you,Boris; that's funny. No, you suck. If you can see, why don't you do something about that mess you call a face? How? Because I'm blind, not stupid.
I knew the mic was still on. Asshole. I wanted people to see how dumb you are. No, you're dumb.
Well... They don't NEED to see your half. Because I'm clearly smarter than you, and they can see how dumb I say you are. No, that's a fact. Opinions are like assholes; yours always stinks. Don't you come over here!! I'm still talking to my fans! NO! Don't you pus...
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Post by DarkSpectre on Jan 14, 2018 21:46:50 GMT
@blindasabitch
So, today is Sunday. Which makes tomorrow Monday Bloody Monday, and you should all tune in to watch me smack around a bunch of hobos with my cane and throw them over the rope to earn my place against our champ. And soon, you all get to watch Eaglr Eye take the #CardboardCrown.
I am SO hyped right now. Legit, bruv. I mean, crabcakes and butter croissants for dinner and a win tomorrow night... I forgot what? Mic? Oh, shit. No biggie. I just say send messa...
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Post by DarkSpectre on Jan 15, 2018 3:51:44 GMT
@blindasabitch
Guys!! I can't sleep; I'm just so damn excited that I cement my legacy en route to the #CardboardCrown tomorrow!! What do you mean? It's the Tweeting-verse. They'll understand 'en route'. Yes, they will. Fuckin A, Boris; they're not half wits like you. They're MY fans. FUCK YOU, too!! I don't need you! I can get a better aide, asshole!! Maybe a sexy broad with a big ass and nice ti... By touching it, dumbass. Come on; I'm gonna be a champion. What woman WOULDN'T throw herself at me?? WHOA! I am NOT that bad! I would NEVER touch a woman without her consent. Well, fine! Go!! Gah. I don't need your punk ass. I got my NBW fans on the Tweeting Verse. Oh, I should make a tweeter. Let the fans know what's up.
Open tweeter. New post. Hey, tweeter verse!! I'm excited about making headlines when I dominate tomorrow night and throw myself at the #CardboardCrown!! You guys make sure to tune in and watch me smack a bunch of hobos around like... The fuck you want, Boris? Well, get your shit and go. I don't need you around anymore. Well, shit. You wanna go? I'm a professional wrestler now. I'll beat you like I own you, bitch!! Come on!! Don't go near my compu... What are you doing? Don't touch th...
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Post by DarkSpectre on Jan 16, 2018 0:07:03 GMT
@blindasabitch
Hey, Twit-heads!! Only an hour left before I smack the senses outta the Bum Fights Division and earn my place as the owner of the #CardboardCrown!!
You wha? Well, because instead of metal, the plates are cardboard. Well, it's the Bum Fighter Division. Yeah. Hobos, squatters, bridge trolls... Look, sweetheart, you gotta keep up. Baby, I'm blind and even I can s... Baby. Well, why the fuck not? So you aren't gonna let me squeeze the melons. The fuck? Well... I'm sure once I win the title, PLENTY of bitches are gonna wanna touch the eye that CAN see.
Oh, whatever. We almost there? I wanna get to the weight room and pump some iron before the match. Yeah, pump iron. Weights? Unless you're gonna let me pump you. Eh? Eh?!
Naw? Alright, then. Fuck it. Let me know when we get there. Bah. What's on my phone? Oh, shit. Push the button to send it. I don't care, I keeps it real. One hundred. Fo sh...
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Post by DarkSpectre on Jan 17, 2018 22:35:37 GMT
@blindasabitch
Okqy, okay. No, I'm fine. Look, so some asshole took advantage of my inability to see. So what? I'll get another chance. You wait. What? Naw; I got a fan wanted to blow me, so I'm fine. What? I only had the money Pryde gave me for the match. I know, like, two hundred bucks. I mean, I don't know; I bought some snacks and shit. Here, count it.
Ugh... Tweeting verse. Gotta talk to my people. Open Tweeter. New... What? Oh. Okay. Hey, fans!! It's your boy Eagle Eye here! I know you guys and gals were watching this week, and I gotta tell you... I feel a little let down myself. But I'm not letting this loss get me down!! Nope! Did you see anyone pin me? Make me tap out? No, no. I was thrown over a rope by an opportunistic never-will-be. He'll get his comeuppance. For now, I'm focused on getting a couple of wins under my belt.
Oh, it is ON. Keep an ey...
Seven twenty-six?? How the hell... I don't know; he gave me, like, twelve bills and some change. Buttons? What do you mean, buttons? You...
No, that slut fan must have stolen some. That's it. Pryde wouldn't gip a disabled man. Fuckin A. That's okay; I'll go find a fight next week and get some more money. We good.
Tweeter? Oh, yeah. Tune in next week, folks. Yeah boy is gonna whoop some ass cans around!!
What? Well, Andre Agassi says it all the time in HIS videos. Andre Agassi. The bright slimmed guy. The wrestler. What's his zodiac sign got to do with shit? I don't get it...
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